Integrity. By Sara Cain.

God is not fooled by outward appearances. He’s after integrity. A life where our words and actions, our public worship and our private obedience, all tell the same story. Because who we are behind closed doors matters far more than how we appear when everyone’s watching. May our lips and our lives never proclaim two different messages.

I was one of six children in our family. I idolized my oldest sister, Karen. She was beautiful, intelligent, kind, funny, and a joy to be around.

When I was thirteen my aunt came to visit from out of state and it was the first time she had seen our family in many years, so she was just getting to know me. She commented on how all six of us children were so different and had our own look. She asked me who I thought I resembled most. Of course I replied, “Karen!”  I said this because I wanted to be just like her. My aunt drew back and said, “Honey, just because we want to be like someone doesn’t mean that we are.” The expression on her face and the way she spoke the words broke my heart. It was a clear message that what I had joyfully proclaimed most certainly was not true in her estimation.

Her statement haunted me for years, but God used it to teach me valuable truths.

First, that we must continuously look in the mirror and evaluate if the person we see looking back at us is the same person that God sees. Are we honest with our assessment of ourselves, and does the person we present to the world match the person in our mind’s eye?

That’s important because God is looking for integrity, an outward appearance that perfectly represents what’s in our heart and soul.

Webster’s Dictionary defines integrity as

1)  adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character, honesty

2)  the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished

3)  follow through on commitments

4)  keeps promises

When our Hearts Being Healed Board chooses our speakers for our conferences, one of the things we are looking for in our applicants is integrity. Does their life match their words?  Do their pastors and women’s ministry leaders recommend them based on the testimony of their actions?

The old saying, “Words are cheap” means that testimonies that are not backed up with matching actions are not of much value.  Why would someone be drawn to something that clearly is not working for the person talking about it? So, it is essential that our board members and our speakers and prayer partners are women of integrity.

C.S. Lewis said, “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.”

It’s easy to think that it is automatic or at least easier to have integrity with those we love, the people in our home, because we love them and have made a commitment to them. It seems like it should be easier, but …

The people we love the most and live with are

In our face

In our space

Every single day.

Their words, actions, decisions, etc., affect us directly and intimately, so it is these relationships that can most easily challenge us, hurt us, offend us, or deflate us, and can  cause us to respond in ways that are most unholy.

But if we have integrity, we will allow Holy Spirit to control our tongue and our actions so that our response at home matches the way we would respond publicly in ministry.

That’s the challenge. And that’s the assignment.

We have no helpful influence if we don’t live with integrity in our homes.

I confess that this is sometimes a challenge for me. I can’t blame my sharp tongue or reactionary behavior on my husband’s dementia or whatever home situation that might trip me up. It is my responsibility daily, and moment by moment, to surrender to Holy Spirit to safely navigate the mine field.

One of my favorite lines in a worship song is from Holy Water by We the Kingdom, and it says this:

“God, I don’t want to abuse your grace…”

God’s love and mercy are never ending, but the health and beauty of any relationship is built on respect and effort to delight the other and not disappoint the other. God will forgive us, but our relationship with Him will be damaged if we willingly abuse His grace by repeatedly being careless with our words and actions, taking God’s loving forgiveness for granted.

Integrity is a Kingdom Value.

Integrity respects God’s gift of grace and mercy and does not take advantage of it.

Integrity overcomes challenges by the power of Holy Spirit.

Integrity, like God, never changes.

If we live with integrity, our life will look like this:

1) Consistency in our walk with God.

2) An excellent attitude

3) Faithfulness and diligence at work

4) Personal purity of the highest caliber

5) Our private life matches our public life

Our public face, persona, and behavior must exactly match our private face, persona and behavior.

The book of Titus is a very short book with only a total of 45 verses, but it is a powerful message with the subtitle, “A Godly Life”. One of its main themes is that right living and right believing go hand in hand. Correct understanding of Jesus and salvation creates righteous living.  Our belief and our actions are one and the same.

In the first chapter of Titus, Paul describes necessary attributes of a leader as …

“Each of them must be above reproach…”

“… must be someone of blameless character and not be overbearing or short-tempered.”

“… should be one who is known for hospitality and a lover of goodness.”

“… should be recognized as one who is fair-minded, pure-hearted, and self-controlled.”

Be an example. Titus 2:7-8

“Above all, set yourselves apart as a model of a life nobly lived. With dignity, demonstrate integrity in all that you teach. Bring a clear, wholesome message that cannot be condemned, and then your critics will be embarrassed, with nothing bad to say about us.”

God’s Grace, Our Motivation.  Titus 2:11-12

“God’s marvelous grace has manifested in person, bringing salvation for everyone. This same grace teaches us how to live each day as we turn our backs on ungodliness and indulgent lifestyles, and it equips us to live self-controlled, upright godly lives in this present age.”

How I love this next section. Smack dab in the middle of teaching and exhorting, Paul breaks out in song!

The Hymn of Salvation by Grace.  Titus 3:4-7

When the extraordinary compassion of God our Savior

And His overpowering love suddenly appeared in person

As the brightness of a dawning day.

He came to save us

Not because of any virtuous deed that we have done

But only because of His extravagant mercy

He saved us

Resurrecting us through the washing of rebirth

We are made completely new by the Holy Spirit

Whom He splashed over us richly

By Jesus, the Messiah, our Life Giver

So as a gift of His love

And since we are faultless-

Innocent before His face –

We can now become heirs of all things

All because of an overflowing hope of eternal life.

How true and faithful is this message!

And because of this message, this is our end game… to live Godly lives that match the words we say and the message we share so that others might experience salvation also!

Titus 3:14

“Encourage the believers to be passionately devoted to beautiful works of righteousness by meeting the urgent needs of others, and not be unfruitful.”

How are your meetings at the mirror? Do your actions support your words? Does the reflection you see match the reflection God sees?