The Gift of Reconciliation.  By Teri Carter.

Healing relationships you never planned to fix (for any of myriad reasons) can be such a sweet blessing when the Holy Spirit leads you in an unexpected direction. Like you probably do, I have a number of broken relationships in my life with other Christians, and we’re asked to live in unity with our brothers and sisters in Christ. In Jesus’ prayer over his disciples shortly before his arrest, He prayed these words:

 

[9]  “My prayer is not for the world, but for those you have given me, because they belong to you. [10] All who are mine belong to you, and you have given them to me, so they bring me glory. [11] Now I am departing from the world; they are staying in this world, but I am coming to you. Holy Father, you have given me your name; now protect them by the power of your name so that they will be united just as we are.”

John 17:9-11 NLT

 

And later in the same prayer, he asks again for our unity be as closely knit as the trinity is to each other:

 

[22]  “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. [23] I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.”

John 17:22-23 NLT

 

If our unity wasn’t of the utmost importance, Jesus wouldn’t have used that precious time with his disciples before his arrest, praying for that specific thing. While circumstances of that present time meant they needed to stick close together to steward and pass on the faith, it’s still important today! Not just between individuals, but corporately as a global and local family of believers. Otherwise, we risk spiritual drift; not just apart from each other, but ultimately from the Father.

The relationship being healed that surprised me recently was with a previous spiritual leader who, from my side of the experience, acted in some really dishonoring ways toward me. Of course, that could be skewed, since I was grieving and giving mixed messages at the time! It led to a complete fracture of our relationship and me leaving church for the better part of 3 years aside from attending some online services from another church, irregularly.

As I’ve come into a new church family that started healing me, I found this leader’s name on my lips multiple times; as well as hard feelings hidden behind the social “concern” I showed. This prompted me to begin wondering why  I was still talking about this person after so long. And as I was wondering, the Holy Spirit so lovingly appealed to my desire to encourage other people and whispered, “Why don’t you write that person an encouraging email? Maybe that will help you process? Hmmm…?” 🤣 I liked that idea, getting to be, in a way, magnanimous with my “encouragement.”

So I decided I’d do it right when I got home! I actually told my mom in a joking way afterwards that the Holy Spirit then tricked me into writing the email He really intended for me to write. Because the email I sat down to write was garbage (i.e. from MY sinful desires), He kindly gave me words of life to speak to that person in the form of acknowledgement, apology for my part, and, I hope, a gratefulness of heart that I feel for them. And then I got to see that person in public somewhat unexpectedly where we exchanged a hug and planned to sit and talk more and bring full restoration when my cancer treatment schedule allows. And the relief that true repentance and forgiveness breathes life into your heart and soul just like the sun does as it warms a chilly spring morning (at least for me). I was stunned at the grace of the Holy Spirit, and the other person. Praise God for that unity restored!

And even more good news? This experience has encouraged me to seek restoration of other relationships with other believers. Not an easy feat when you’re hiding the hurt instead of lovingly approaching the closest people that hurt you. The first one I want God to heal is with a close friend with whom I had a falling out a few years ago. When that person wanted to let the conflict settle, I was still too hurt to let that person all the way back in. All over a forgivable “offense” that I could have chosen to handle in a healthy way and did not. Instead I’ve let feelings of bitterness and unforgiveness sit in my heart. Not anymore! I have let this dear friend know that I have some things I need to talk out with them, because I don’t want anything between us anymore. It hasn’t been fair of me to hold these feelings against my friend, but not tell them. So, with the Holy Spirit’s help, I will start what could be a difficult conversation, since feelings can be hard to express appropriately.

I think it’s important to step back up to scripture and remember that this prayer of Jesus was over his disciples and other believers. This doesn’t mean that reconciliation is always possible within the church, but the grace and forgiveness part you can do under Christ’s power without their help. But don’t use that to excuse not reconciling with a brother or sister in Christ. If you can allow God the freedom to work on your heart and follow his leading, it might just surprise you when he heals places you were purposely trying to ignore.

Friend, I want to encourage you today, whenever you’re reading this, that if we are sensitive to the Holy Spirit, healing, forgiveness, and the restoration of brokenness can become reality.

Much love, and many blessings!