Why God?  Why me?  By Norma Knight.

I have worked so hard, invested so much time and yet, it is taken away once again!!!!  These are questions that at first, I started asking, or more so thrown as a tantrum.

So, I have been at my job for nine years and for the past three years, I found out that there was a free benefit that was given through my Union, which was to go to college and get a degree.  I prayed and heard God clearly that He would make a way for me to attend, that I would be able to maintain a full-time job, be in ministry, maintain my home and still go to school online.

In the recent weeks, I have felt as though the things in life have been greatly changed.  I did get notice from the college that I was attending that the Free Benefit through my Union would no longer be available and that if I wanted to finish to get my diploma, I could do so at a lower rate for tuition, and so I looked at the prices and I just knew that I could not and would not be able to afford what that amount so that I could continue.  I emailed the college and turned in my withdrawal notice.  I did not understand the “why” until today.

It wasn’t until the sermon today at church that God revealed what He was going to do and expand my abilities that only He could give me.  Sometimes, when I am going through something, I don’t understand the “why”.  I cry out to God asking for understanding, but God always says to me, “Soon you will understand what I am doing.”  I knew that was a scripture in the bible but where?  When I got home, I opened up my study bible and started searching and finally I found it.

John 13:7 TPT translation: “Jesus replied, ‘You don’t understand yet the meaning of what I’m doing, but soon it will be clear to you’.”

In John, chapter 13, it all starts when Jesus, knowing that it was his last night on earth, wanted to show his disciples how much he loved them.  He got ready to wash the disciples’ feet.  Simon Peter tried to refuse Jesus and what Jesus was trying to do.  Simon Peter did not understand, none of the disciples did.  Then there is Peter who told Jesus that Jesus would never wash his feet.  That is when Jesus revealed and explained the reason to Peter as to the importance of washing of the feet.  The explanation clearly was that if Jesus was not allowed to wash Peter’s feet, then Peter would not be able to share eternal life with Jesus.  That is when Peter clearly understood the purpose and the “why” Jesus wanted to wash Peter’s feet.

Sometimes in life, it gets chaotic, hectic, busy, which is all true especially as the return of God is coming soon, it says so in the bible.  When we get through the rough spot, keeping the focus on Jesus, relying on, and trusting in Him, those answers to the question of “Why”, really do not matter at that point.  Now, when distraction comes, something with life turns so crazy and hectic, I can sit back and know that my peace is found only in Jesus because He is my peace.  I do repeat that scripture back to God, but as a prayer to God and simply say, “God, I thank You for knowing what You are doing.  I thank You for allowing my vessel to be used for Your glory.  I may not understand the “why”, Lord, but I am okay with not knowing nor understanding.  I just simply say YES to You because You said yes to me even when I did not deserve it.  You paid my debt that You did not owe because I had a debt that I could not pay.  Let all that I do, be used for Your glory. “