Meltdowns Happen

This past week was a doozy!   Just about everything that could go wrong did go wrong.  And almost everything in this case was a financial disaster.  I’ll spare you the details, but just know that I was both victimized where I bore no responsibility for the terrible fallout, but I was also reaping the results of some earlier foolish decisions and some honest mistakes.  I was at the breaking point.  In fact, I went past it, and had a total meltdown.

For Christian women in ministry, people we serve and minister to often assume that we don’t have problems because Jesus took care of them all, or we don’t have behavior fails because we are, after all, Christian women teaching and mentoring others. Therefore, we should always look and sound and act just like Jesus.

If only.

If only we did.  That truly is our ambition.  But we are all a work in progress, and as long as we are in these human contraptions made of flesh, we are going to be far less than perfect, and though we strive to imitate Jesus and become more like Him, we will never achieve His perfection this side of heaven.  But we’ll continue to work towards it as long as we have breath.

But we will sometimes fail in a big way.

Every woman I know loves the story of the Titanic.  The unsinkable ship.

The unsinkable ship that sunk!

The Titanic sunk because of an iceberg that was not what it seemed.  What the ship pilot failed to understand was that the innocent looking iceberg he saw was just a fraction of the size of the whole iceberg, most of which was below the surface and unseen.

Our life voyage is similar to a ship on the open sea.  Sometimes the waters are beautiful and calm, and sometimes they’re terrifyingly stormy and dangerous, and sometimes they appear calm, but are concealing a danger below the surface.

We need to remember this when we witness our sisters having a meltdown.  We don’t know what circumstances created “the iceberg” that causes them to wreck.  In our human strength, there is only so much that we can handle at any one time.  That’s why we go to Jesus daily to seek His face and be filled with Holy Spirit.  There is no room in the believer’s heart for condemnation of our sisters.

This is also true:  there is no room in a believer’s heart for self-condemnation.

After my recent meltdown, I called myself names I didn’t know I knew.  I berated myself.   I told myself things that in more than seven decades of living I have never said to another living soul, and never would.  But I had no problem throwing those names and accusations at myself.

But God is so full of love and mercy.  His grace is limitless.  His forgiveness is beyond what any living being ever deserves.  I know this.  I have known this for a very, very long time.  But sometimes I need a reminder.  Sometimes I get tripped up by those same old lies I believed before I knew Jesus as my Savior.  Sometimes I need a good fall to bring me to my knees before Jesus so I can cry out, “I have nothing left.  I need you.  I need more of you.  I need more and more and more of you.”

God has been lavishing His love on me especially these past few days, reminding me of the truths in His Word, and by giving me fresh perspective on some of them.   This morning in my devotions, He directed me to this scripture, and I especially love the footnotes with it.

1 John 3:20-21 ~ from the Passion Translation

“Whenever our hearts make us feel guilty and remind us of our failures, we know that God is much greater and more merciful than our conscience, and he knows everything there is to know about us. My delightfully loved friends, when our hearts don’t condemn us, we have a bold freedom to speak face-to-face with God.”

Footnote: There is a higher courtroom for the human heart; it is where grace is enthroned.  The very worst that is in us is known by God and he still showers mercy, love, and acceptance upon us.  This is the greatness of God’s grace.  He sees beyond the sin of a moment and sees the holy affections of love in those who refuse to turn away from him.

Wow!

Jesus sees beyond the sin of a moment.

Jesus sees the holy affections of love in those who refuse to turn away from Him.

He has kept His presence feeling especially “up close and personal” to me these past few days so that there is no room for any of the darkness to pierce the light He has given me.   One of my favorite phrases is “His wrap-around presence” found in several of the Psalms.

I leave you today with two of my favorite scriptures from the Passion Translation.  If you know first-hand about meltdowns, I strongly encourage you to meditate on and memorize these two scriptures.

Psalm 62:1-2

God, I stand silently to listen for the One I love, waiting as long as it takes for the Lord to rescue me.  For God alone has become my Savior.  He alone is my safe place:  His wrap-around presence always protects me.  For He is my champion defender; there’s no risk of failure with God.  So why would I let worry paralyze me even when troubles multiply around me?

Psalm 7:10

God, your wrap-around presence is my protection and my defense.  You bring victory to all who reach out for you.

Moral of the story:   God takes our destructive meltdowns, and melts down the things causing the destruction and replaces them with victory and peace when we lay it at His feet.