By Teri Carter.

Where is God when you’re in the middle of the hard stuff?  We’ve all probably heard that He’s right there with you, and that is absolutely true.  After all, Psalms 23:4 tells us

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

God promises to be there, so He is there.  And if we were beings based on logic alone, that would be all there is to say on the subject.  But, just because you know He’s there, doesn’t mean that you always feel His Holy Spirit surrounding you, and you won’t even see what he’s doing sometimes unless you really look.

So, with that being said, here’s how I have found peace in God, even in the midst of my journey with breast cancer.

For those who care about the details, in April I was diagnosed with triple positive breast cancer.  I am halfway through the hardest chemo treatments, but there’s still a long way to go yet.  I’m 38, and of the 84 genes/mutations they tested me for, I tested negative for all of them.  I’m fairly young to get this cancer, and with no genetic predisposition, it just doesn’t seem “fair,” does it?

In fact, my life has been far from “fair.”  My first thought, though fleeting, was, “Haven’t I gone through enough, God?”

Then, I had another thought.  Why am I here?  What is my purpose in its most basic form?  I think 2 Timothy 1:7-11 sums it up pretty well:

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.  So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner.  Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.  He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.  This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.”

I know, that passage is more than bite size, but it tells us what we need to know.  In life, we will suffer as Jesus suffered.  We have not necessarily faced tough, life-threatening persecution for our faith as in some places, but we all suffer.  Maybe you have never thought about your personal, first-world suffering as related to “suffering for the gospel.”  But how does the gospel spread best?  Through telling stories about what God has done!  So, here’s my story about how I’ve been experiencing God in the middle.

I’ll let you in on a secret.  This current battle is nothing compared to some I’ve faced.  And through those, God continually showed up for me, even if I didn’t realize it in the middle of everything.  But, once you get to the other side of hard things a few times, if you look back, you can usually get a glimpse of how God was working for your good and His purposes all along.

So, I’ve come to trust that God knows what He is doing, even when I don’t.  And if the purpose of suffering is for the sake of the gospel, it’s time to go to work.  I moved quickly into a place of what my therapist calls radical acceptance. This just means that I made a choice to be present for what God is doing both in me and through me in this storm.   And because I have a firm foundation for trusting God, I chose to let Him worry about the cancer, and go along for the ride for whatever He is doing.

See, when we turn upward instead of inward during suffering, when we lock eyes with Jesus and tell Him, ok, I don’t understand this, but I’m all in, that’s where you find His peace.

And boy, being at peace in any situation helps you look for opportunities to serve others, even if, like me, it’s just being a smiling face in the infusion center visiting with other patients, offering to pray for them, and not spreading negativity and sowing distress.  And, you start to align yourself with God’s purpose.  You may not get to reap what you’re sowing in Christ, there may be a harvester coming after you, but that doesn’t mean the work you do in suffering is any less vital to the cause.  The funny thing is, though, it really doesn’t seem like work when you allow God to do the heavy lifting.

You may read this and feel like I’ll never understand how hard the things you’re facing are, and in some ways that’s true.  In a short blog post, you’ll never get to see the depth of the things I’ve faced, either.  But we all know suffering.  And the answer to suffering is service to God, because otherwise, what is life really for if it isn’t for helping advance the kingdom of God by serving him and others by being a witness and example of the goodness of God.

Especially in the middle of our suffering.